Well If It Ain’t Stank, What Is It?

When we last got together, we were talking about some good old stank. Everyone has stank in their lives to some degree. I’m working on mine but it isn’t all that easy as you may have noticed.

Stank shows up in the darnedest places too. You can be walking along minding your own business and a good old ripe piece of limburger will just ease on up next to you and make itself at home.

Here’s an example of what I’m talking about from my own personal stank closet. I can’t swim. That’s right, straight rock status.

Okay, that’s not totally accurate. I can swim, I just can’t do the part where you keep your head above water and breath. Below the surface? Hell, I’m the man just below the surface. It’s just that after about a minute, all my “below the surface” cool points wear off and that air thing becomes somewhat of a priority.

Kinda sucks to be me in my house because I’m the only one here that has that problem. The kids and wifey are all straight. I suppose if I didn’t have Dad privileges…

Well let’s just say my Dad privileges kept me from catching a lot of crap over the years.

What’s the deal, you ask? No deal. Just a little stank. What makes it stank is I actually do want to get my Michael Phelps on. Really I do. Aside from the other fringe benefits, it’s great exercise.

When I moved to Klantucky, I even moved around the corner from E-Town Swim for crying out loud! Tease me with it why don’t you? I suppose I’ll ease on over there in a hot minute and get my swerve on, but for right now… Stank.

Now for the haters who don’t think that example was stinky enough, just take a knee and drink some water. You’ve obviously got your own stank to worry about so focus on that and get off my gnads.

But that does bring up a point I wanted to get to before I called it quits today. Let’s say you didn’t just sit over in the corner playing solitaire with your favorite toy since my last post.

Suppose you actually tried to take a look at some of that stank you’ve got built up over there. Where’d you look?

If you just took a quick glance, then you probably saw the usual stank and called it quits. The usual stank is easy to see. It’s that stuff that pisses you off regularly. Ray Charles can see that stank.

What about that other stank? I’m talking about the stank that’s been quietly screwing you on the regular and you’re so used to it that you don’t even notice it anymore.

Now of course, before I start digging into this, I’ve got to address the more bovine of my readers. If you’re cattle, what follows here could be a little tricky for you.

Ya’ see, cattle can’t smell their own stink. Most people truthfully have a hard time with this one, but cattle sincerely suck at it. Whatever is wrong is never their fault. Never!

Let me elucidate. Have you ever gone to a party and bumped into the guy who smells like he bathed in the entire line of AXE deodorants, sprays and hair products?

Works like magic in the commercials but in real life, everyone just wants to know “What’s that smell?” Well that’s what it’s like for cattle. Can’t smell a thing and probably never will.

Let me tell you about a class I took a few years back. The gist of it was get a friggin well rounded life. They didn’t bill it that way, but once you cut through the fluffy talk, there it is.

I always thought the Forrest Gump approach worked best. Don’t try to out think the room or impress your audience on “Big Word Thursday”.

Just break that crap down as far as it can be broken down and get to the point. The Army teaches Bottom Line Up Front when writing and that works pretty well all the way around, if you ask me.

Get to the point and get there quickly. If takes you more than two sentences to state an idea, you’d better go back and rework that idea because either it’s sloppy or you are. Either way you’re wasting someone’s time.

Anyway, once I pulled out all the fluff, I could smell what they were cooking in that class. It made some sense so it was worth holding onto.

Simply stated, unless you are truly one dimensional, your world is sliced up into a few categories, all of which need tending to. Trouble shows up when people overload in one or two and totally blow off the others.

If you search the internet you’ll see sites devoted to the Balance Wheel of Life and others devoted to the Pillars of a Balanced Life.

Foo-Foo alert!!

Try not to puke if you look them up. Too wordy and too touchy feely. Once again I say, if just grasping the concept feels like work, how in the hell can you actually put any of it into use?

Next post I’ll break that stuff down Chris Carter style and show you that it ain’t that serious folks. Before you come back though, make sure you know what “the sucks” means. If you don’t you’re gonna be lost like a meatball in a 5 gallon pot.